Editorial Disclosure: Independent editorial — Ali attended the SHA Study Abroad trips as a paying student and The Cocoon retreat as a paying participant.

I recently went to my first play party in Mexico.

While I was there, I met a group of people who had literally flown in that morning just for the party. They were flying out the next day. And I stood there thinking: there is a whole new level of commitment happening here that I hadn't fully registered before. These people planned a trip around this. They researched it. They vetted it. They bought flights.

And that's when it hit me: we need to talk about pleasure travel.

Not sex tourism — that's a different and more complicated conversation, and I'll get to the distinction in a moment. Pleasure travel is something more specific, more intentional, and more interesting than the reputation around it suggests.

What Pleasure Travel Actually Is

Pleasure travel is travel that intentionally incorporates sexual or erotic experiences as part of the itinerary. Not incidentally — intentionally.

It includes things like:

  • Erotic festivals and kink conventions
  • Play parties and swinger resorts
  • Destination dating — traveling specifically to date or connect romantically in another culture
  • Conscious intimacy retreats
  • Sex culture education trips
  • Broadly: any travel where exploring sexuality is part of the point

It's curated. It's intentional. It's community-based. And it's growing.

I don't travel specifically for sex — but I do travel with curiosity. And if sexuality is part of the culture, I'm interested in it. I've sought out erotic experiences in almost every city I've spent real time in. I went to Cinéma L'Amour in Montreal — one of the last adult cinemas in North America. I did a red light district tour in Tokyo with a Japanese comedian. I visited the Prostitution Information Center in Amsterdam. I've been to play parties, burlesque shows, nude spas, kink demonstrations.

And I've traveled specifically for intimacy retreats. Alone. The most powerful version of this I've experienced was a week-long retreat called The Cocoon in Crete, Greece — a conscious intimacy retreat that takes over an entire hotel for a week. Workshops on consent and communication. Tantric experiences. Sensory exploration. It changed something in me that I'm still processing. I wrote about it in full in What Really Happens at a 7-Day Intimacy Retreat → /world-issue/the-cocoon-crete

That experience was not about sex specifically. It was about depth. About what happens when you put a group of curious, open adults in a beautiful place with excellent facilitation and give them permission to actually explore intimacy rather than just stumble through it.

That's pleasure travel at its best.

How Is This Different From Sex Tourism?

Before we spiral: let me be precise.

Sex tourism, in the research definition, refers to travel where sexual experiences are part of the intention. That definition by itself is not automatically exploitative — it simply describes a motivation.

Where it becomes harmful is when it involves trafficking, coercion, or anything involving minors — which are crimes everywhere and which we are not discussing here.

Pleasure travel feels like an evolution of this concept. Less about buying sex abroad and more about intentionally incorporating erotic experience into travel in consensual, community-based ways.

The distinction matters because collapsing all of this into one category — treating a couple flying to a kink convention in Berlin as equivalent to a man traveling to exploit children in Southeast Asia — is both inaccurate and unhelpful. Both exist. They are not the same thing.

Why This Trend Is Growing

Digital communities — kink communities, poly communities, and lifestyle groups can now coordinate globally. You don't stumble into a play party in Mexico. You find it online, research it, vet it, and book it intentionally.

Delayed marriage and sexual autonomy — people are staying single longer, redefining relationships, and having more disposable income and time to travel.

Burnout culture — people don't just want relaxation anymore. They want to feel alive. Pleasure travel often delivers that intensity in a way that a beach resort doesn't.

Cultural curiosity — sex is culture. Dating norms in Mexico are not the same as Thailand. For curious people, exploring intimacy is part of exploring the world.

The Benefits

Exploration without hometown reputation. In your hometown everyone knows you. In a new space you can be whoever you want to be.

Intentional erotic environments. Spaces specifically designed for safe, consensual exploration are genuinely different from improvised situations. The infrastructure matters.

Meeting like-minded people. Finding your people — people who share your curiosity, your values, your interests — is its own kind of intimacy.

Reigniting desire. Whether you're solo or partnered, novelty reliably increases desire. Shared erotic adventure in a new place can do things for a relationship that years of therapy might not manage.

The Risks — And How to Stay Safe

Know your testing window. Testing the day you land home after a trip doesn't always capture infections with incubation periods. Consider testing again 2-4 weeks after returning home.

Bring your own protection. Condom standards and availability vary. Don't assume you'll find what you need in the moment.

Know the laws. Age of consent varies. Sex work laws vary. Public indecency laws vary. Do the research before you go.

Stay sober enough to consent. And sober enough to read consent from others.

Vet your events. Is there a consent policy? Is there security? Is there a vetting process for attendees? Have someone in your life who asks you the right questions before you go.

What the People Flying In for One Night Know

Going back to the group at that play party in Mexico — the ones who flew in that morning and were flying out the next day.

These were not reckless people. They were organized. They had done the research. They had vetted the event. They knew what they were going in for and had communicated their boundaries clearly.

That's different from a wild vacation hookup — though those can also be perfectly fine.

The difference is intention. People are now planning erotic experiences the way they plan food tours, yoga retreats, and music festivals. Pleasure is becoming part of the itinerary.

And maybe the real question isn't: are people traveling for sex now?

Maybe it's: haven't they always — and we're just finally talking about it openly?

💬 Is It Just Me?

Have you ever traveled specifically for an erotic or intimate experience — a retreat, a festival, a play party, a sex positive resort? Would you?

Submit anonymously → /is-it-just-me

The Details

🔗 Sexual Health Alliance Study Abroad Trips: sexhealthalliance.com
🔗 The Cocoon retreat article: /world-issue/the-cocoon-crete

Also in The World Issue:

About the Author

Ali Imperiale is a sex education student with the Sexual Health Alliance, a writer, and a traveler. She has visited 40+ countries and writes about sex, intimacy, and culture from wherever she currently is. The Nookie Nook is her shame-free, algorithm-free intimacy library.