Editorial Disclosure: Independent editorial — Ali has personally visited the Netherlands, Canada, and Spain. Iceland and Sweden based on research.

I've been to around 40 countries. I've spent real time in probably a third of them. And one of the things that travel does — if you're paying attention — is make you realize how arbitrary most of the rules are.

What counts as shameful. What counts as normal. What you're allowed to want, to say, to ask for. These things vary so dramatically from one country to the next that the only honest conclusion is that almost none of them are natural laws. They're just the rules somebody decided on, in a specific time and place, and passed down.

The countries on this list decided on different rules. And the results — measurably, consistently — are better.

01 — The Netherlands

The Gold Standard

The Netherlands is the country everyone points to when they talk about progressive sexuality — and for genuinely good reason.

Dutch children begin learning about relationships, consent, and bodies around age four. Not explicit sexual content — age-appropriate education that builds a foundation of understanding before puberty arrives with all of its confusion. By the time Dutch teenagers are navigating desire and relationships, they already have a vocabulary for it.

Prostitution is legal and regulated. Sex workers have labor rights, healthcare access, and legal protections. The philosophy: if it's going to happen regardless, create conditions that make it safer for everyone involved.

The results are measurable. The Netherlands consistently has some of the lowest teen pregnancy and STI rates in Europe. Not because Dutch teenagers are having less sex — they're not. Because they're better informed.

One caveat I want to name: the Netherlands has a Bible Belt — a conservative Protestant region where the cultural reality is entirely different from Amsterdam. No country is monolithic. I write about it in detail in the Dutch sex culture piece.

02 — Sweden

The Egalitarian Model

Sweden has been teaching sex education since kindergarten. They have a relaxed cultural attitude toward both porn consumption and nudity. LGBTQ+ rights are well advanced, with same-sex marriage legalized in 2009. Stockholm even has a fetish fair.

Research consistently shows Swedish people rank high on sexual satisfaction and on comfort discussing their sexuality openly with partners and friends.

The Swedish approach is grounded in equality. Sex education isn't just about biology — it's about relationships, consent, and the equal right of all genders to desire and pleasure.

The caveat: Sweden follows the Nordic Model on sex work — it's legal to sell sex but illegal to buy it. Critics, including many sex workers themselves, argue this creates danger by pushing transactions underground. The intent is protective; the real-world effect is more complicated.

03 — Canada

My Home — Quietly Spicy

I'm biased. But Canada genuinely belongs on this list.

Canadians don't announce their sex positivity. We're polite about it. But underneath the politeness: Montreal has been Sin City since Prohibition, Toronto and Vancouver consistently rank among the most sexually liberated cities in the world, and the country has a high baseline of LGBTQ+ acceptance, inclusive sex education, and decriminalized sex work.

The sex education caveat is real — curriculum varies by province, and teacher comfort level varies even within the same curriculum. And Canada uses the Nordic Model on sex work, same as Sweden. Good intentions, complicated outcomes.

But broadly: Canada treats sexuality as a normal part of adult life. We don't make a big deal about it.

And then there's Montreal — which deserves its own sentence because it's genuinely in a category of its own. Montreal has been called the Sin City of Canada since the Prohibition era, when Americans flooded north for the alcohol and the nightlife that their dry country couldn't offer. That history never fully left. Today Montreal has some of the most vibrant, open-minded, and sex positive communities in North America. Burlesque shows, kink events, swinger communities, erotic cinemas that have been running since the 1970s, fetish nights, sex positive bars — it's all there, woven into the fabric of a city that has always been more European than North American in its relationship with pleasure. CNN has ranked it among the most sexually liberated cities in the world. I live here. I can confirm.

04 — Iceland

Cold Country, Hot Norms

Iceland has among the highest rates of LGBTQ+ acceptance in all of Europe. Their dating culture is described as liberal, relaxed, and characterized by genuine gender equality in terms of who initiates and who has sexual agency.

They had a feminist porn film festival. That alone tells you something.

A fun and very specific fact: because Iceland's population is so small, there's an app called the Book of Icelanders that lets you check whether you're related to someone before dating them. The app cross-references family trees going back 1,200 years.

Iceland also consistently ranks among the most gender-equal countries on earth, and that equality extends to sexuality. When power dynamics between genders are genuinely flatter, desire tends to be expressed more honestly.

I was supposed to go to Iceland with the Sexual Health Alliance for a study abroad trip this year and couldn't make it. It's very much on the list.

05 — Spain

Mediterranean Sensuality Meets Modern Policy

Spain approaches sex the way it approaches most of life: with passion, openness, and a complete lack of the Protestant guilt that haunts so much of Northern European and North American sexuality.

Sex isn't scandalous in Spain. It's part of culture. In 2023, Spain launched a national sexual health strategy specifically centered around pleasure and consent — not just disease prevention. That reframing is significant. Most countries organize their sexual health policy around fear. Spain organized theirs around wellbeing.

Comprehensive sex education has been mandatory in Spain since 1990. The gay scene in cities like Madrid and Barcelona is vibrant, visible, and integrated into mainstream culture.

What These Five Countries Have in Common

They all treat sex as a normal part of being human.

Not scandalous. Not shameful. Not a problem to be managed. Just a part of life — like food, like sleep, like emotional connection — that deserves honest education, decent policy, and the basic respect of being discussed openly.

The outcomes track. Lower teen pregnancy. Lower STI rates. Higher reported sexual satisfaction. Better communication between partners. Less shame. Less silence. Less confusion.

The lesson is not complicated. It's just hard to implement in cultures that have spent centuries organizing themselves around the idea that desire is dangerous.

💬 Is It Just Me?

Which of these countries have you visited — and did their attitudes toward sex surprise you? Which one would you most want to experience?

Submit anonymously → /is-it-just-me

The Details

🔗 Sexual Health Alliance: sexhealthalliance.com
📊 Advocates for Youth research: advocatesforyouth.org
📊 NIH Dutch national survey: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5857809/

Also in The World Issue:

About the Author

Ali Imperiale is a sex education student with the Sexual Health Alliance, a writer, and a traveler. She has visited 40+ countries and writes about sex, intimacy, and culture from wherever she currently is. The Nookie Nook is her shame-free, algorithm-free intimacy library.